Then I met the “Pee Jug”
I’ve been through some weird stuff in my life: Weird hospital stays, met with weird doctors, even some really odd medical tests. But, never before had I ever had to do a “24 urine test”. This made all the other weird encounters, now somehow seem more…normal.
lets back up shall we? ((I can talk about it now since our daughter has since been born)) I was pregnant. I had suffered two miscarriages before and so my doctors were being extra pre-cautious. Apparently extra pre-cautious meant … saving my pee for 24 hours. In a jug. That had to be kept in the fridge.
Oh yes, this is too good to make up. When my dr first told me I was doing a “urine test” I thought he meant peeing into the little cup like you usually do at a dr apt. No biggie. I was ready to go! But then, he told me to go down to the lab to “get prepped”. Uhhhh? Okay…
So I waddled my then little prego belly down to the lab and handed them my orders. The lady read them, looked up at me and I swear her eyes said “oh sweetie, I’m sorry”. I was still confused at this point so I just smiled and stood there as she went to the back. I remember looking around in the little waiting room area – it was so … bland. just blah. Typical flower in pot painting were on the white walls and the plastic chairs were grey. I remember thinking how lucky I was that I had a much better view at my job and decided the techs probably daydreamed a lot when they were up here…
Then the lady came back in carrying a small, plastic, orange, funky shaped – suitcase.
Okay, okay maybe not an actual suitcase but it was not what I was expecting!!! I looked at it, then her, then back at it. She was reading my mind and quickly said, “I know, I know but you’ll only have to do this a few times…hopefully”. My eyes were still glued on this orange jug as I asked her what that was.
“This is your new best friend for 24 hours”
I immediately began to think of how the hell I was going to be able to bring that with me to work. After all, I had to be there in 2 hours!!
She suggested a bring a cooler to work with me, filled with ice and leave it under my desk. Okay, that could work. Kind of. I mean, I was certain at least 6 of the sales people would open it hoping to find beer but I figured only 2 of them might actually try to drink it…
The problem was how do I discreetly get that big ol jug to and from the bathroom? Now I have some big purses, but none that could hold that! Sooo I did what any sane employee would do: I text my managers a picture of the jug and told them what I had to do. I asked them, “Do you want me to bring this in with me? You know I will! Or, should I work from home today?”
I don’t think I have ever gotten a faster response from them! Haha. Poor managers- they know waaaayy too much about my bodily functions.
This is the infamous pee jug. In our fridge. Riiiiight near my grapefruit haha
So that was that. I spent a full 24 hours peeing into little cups, to pour into that big jug that was in my fridge. Worst part about the whole thing was that I was confined to my house for those 24 hours. I looked at the same 4 walls in my living room, the same loveseat, the same pictures, the same lamps – and all of a sudden I realized how those techs felt.
Granted, I had better pictures up than the sad little flower pot painting – but still. I felt like if I were to go anywhere outside of the house -I would inevitably have to pee. If I had to pee- I needed to make sure it was in “my new best friend”. I was terrified of not doing this pee test correctly and having to re-do it!
All of a sudden, those other… odd procedures and appointments didn’t seem quite so strange! Huh. Weird, because I was pretty sure that NOTHING could make a few of those doctors seem… well, more normal! haha
Leave it to a pregnant T1Diabetic to have a big ol’ jug full o’ pee in her fridge. No wonder no one comes over for dinner…