• Laura "Bean"

Oiled Up Alligator

Ever feel like you’re on a teeter-totter with an alligator on the other side? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Life is a balance, I get that. I accept that. Buuuuuut lately, with the pandemic, the social distancing, the “stay at home” order, PLUS mom life, annnnd working from home? Hah. Teeter-totter with an alligator. And then let’s factor in the diabetes side of things- and now that alligator is all oiled up and ready to slide! Sugar too high? I picture me going up on the teeter-totter and sliding right into the alligator’s mouth. Too low? Annnnnd the gator slips right on down to me - mouth open and ready to gobble me up in a few bites. Crazy? Yeah, a little. But let’s pretend I didnt put the weird visual of it being an oiled up alligator, and think about it in a more normal manner: have you left like life lately is especially... unbalanced? I know I have. And I also know I hate the feeling. I mean, I don’t know what kind of hobbies everyone else is into... but staring down an oily alligator isn’t exactly my jam. I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to make it better, especially since my betes has been suffering more than I thought it would. If someone had told me a year ago that I’d be needing to work from home for weeks at a clip with no real end in sight, I probably would’ve at first not believed that person, and then I would probably think that I could have some magical, mystical, routine set up where everything with would be hunky-dory and life would be fine. That hasn’t been the case for me. Two toddlers, craziness in the world, phone calls and conferences for work, and still trying to maintain some schedule? (whether it’s for eating or exercising or simply leaving the house for the backyard) Pshhh it has not been as easy as I thought it’d be...in fact - it’s not been easy at all. Teeter-totter with an oiled up alligator, I tell ya! The good news (if there is any good news in all of this) is that I’ve learned a lot about myself in these last 4 weeks. I’ve learned a lot about my diabetes. I’ve learned a lot about my kids. No one spends their whole time at the playground on the teeter-totter, right? I mean, there are swings, and slides, and jungle gyms and tons of other fun things. It’s because of that, that I am looking forward to getting off this wild ride and onto something else.

I’m also not going to pretend that I’m enjoying this ride. Because I’m not. And I think that’s okay. All I can do is hold on for as long as I can and do my best. Annnnnd maybe keep reminding the gator on the other end how much I’ve always enjoyed gator bites! Mwhahaha

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