• Laura "Bean"

Changing of Power

Nope. Not a chance in hell that you’re about to read a political piece. Not no way. Not no how.

Buuuuut,

I am watching the Inauguration. I have my baby on my lap, a pump on my boob, Sushi on the back of the couch pretending to be a cat, and Mac on hip staring at “his” baby. While I’m sitting here I wonder what Obama is thinking and am wondering if it’s the same feelings I have when I leave Chewy once a week (with her daddy) to go grocery shopping. (Yes, that’s my weekly venture out- don’t judge). Nervous. Anxious. Excited. Free, yet somehow oh-so-very attached. Also, is this how it felt when I took over managing my diabetes and my parents could take a breather…

Of course, that change of power was more subtle. It happened gradually for the most part, but for years my mother would wake up at 3am to test my sugar. When I moved away at 18 – was it exciting to be free of the responsibility for my diabetes? Or was it more stressful relinquishing some of that power that they still had? Yes, I was an adult and did my own testings, shots, carb count – all that. However, I still lived with them. I was home every night. They could (if they ever wanted to) open my door, see me in my bed, see me breathing – know that I was okay…

As soon as I walk out the door, I feel the need to almost immediately text Moony and see what our daughter is doing. Does it make sense? Nope. Hell, I’m still in the driveway and left her 30 seconds ago! But I’ve had her all day. All night…

As soon as I was diagnosed, my parents were there. With me. And while I went to summer camps, and friend’s sleep overs and all that – for the most part I could communicate with them all day and be home every night. What was it like when I moved out and that stopped? Did they wonder if I was testing? Wonder if I was making and keeping Dr. appointments?

It’s something I’ve never really thought about honestly. That probably sounds horrible and kind of mean but I just haven’t. And while leaving my 7 week old is no where near my child moving 12 hours away, or hell, giving up the power you had as President of the free country – Does the worrying about your betic child ever get better? When you change over your power to them solely – is it easier or harder to breathe?

#diabetics #t1d #beticchild #diabetes #typeone #type1diabetes #diabetic #type1 #beansbetes #diabeticliving #diabeticparents #diabeticlife #diabeticchild

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