Most people will tell you I have none. I say what I feel and am rarely uncomfortable. However, over the weekend I was put in a rather odd situation w Ollie: I had flown to TX to host my best friend’s baby shower and couldn’t have been more excited for it!!! (and for it to be over with). I had spent months of planning, online shopping, finding the perfect wording for the invites, and making sure there was no angle of the theme I hadn’t thought of. I was beyond excited for my wifey to have a blast, be with her friends and family and of course, score some awesome stuff for Linc!
Since the morning Ollie had been beeping, ever so diligently reminding me that he needed to be changed. Not going to lie, with the craziness of getting ready for the shower- I had completely forgotten and with the hum of chatter and making sure everyone had food and drinks and had entered in the games, I wasn’t even paying attention to his faithful beeping. Until- I flatlined. Okay, okay I didn’t really flatline in the normal sense of the word but that’s what I call it when the pump says “enough is enough. I’m not giving you insulin. Change me” Thankfully, it was toward the end of the party and we were really just waiting for everyone to leave so we could clean.
My wifey heard the flatline beep and gave me “the look”. (We truly are like a married couple- one look can be shared and mentally a whole conversation had) I rolled my eyes and grinned as I told her I’d go change him. She asked if I wanted help- now she knows I don’t neeeed help but it’s sometimes nice to have a pair of eyes that can see exactly where I’m placing him, plus I think she needed a break. So I went up the stairs and 30 seconds later my 34 week pregnant wifey came up behind me. “Carrie says she hasta pee” then she gave me another look. I’d been through this before; some nosey somebody wanted to watch as I changed the pump. Now, usually I don’t mind. Just tell me the truth!! Ask if you can watch because you’ve never seen it before. Ask if it’s okay that you stay in the room. Hell, say you always wondered what the bump was on my love handle and I’ll invite you to stay! But don’t be shady. So I got my new pod all prepped and wifey and I waited. We hear Carrie call from the bathroom, “I can wait until you’re done” wifey and I looked at each other. “It’s okay, you can go downstairs I’m not putting it on quite yet anyway” so Carrie walks out and stands right beside us- glaring at my robot parts strewn on the bed. The next couple lines of dialogue are a bit fuzzy since I was having to censor myself to an extent I usually wouldn’t bother with. Bottom line was I told her I wasn’t a freak show to gawk at and I’d see her downstairs. Mind you- I did this with a smile because I was raised better than that 0=)
I stripped off my romper and wifey helped me find a spot where I didn’t have too many red dots where previous needles had gone, got new Ollie all set and BADABING- done.
The whole situation wasn’t a big one. It’s nothing I’ll be thinking about everyday, or every week or even every month. It was a blip in the radar of my life, but would it have been of it was only my first month with pumps? First year? Would it have been a bigger deal to me if I was someone who was very private? Or insecure? It’s hard to describe to some people what we go through as diabetics, and while yes- sometimes it is easier to just show them, it’s still a very personal part of our lives. While I’m not ashamed (at all) of my pod or my lifestyle, even I don’t like feeling pressured to include someone on such a personal and important piece of what makes me- me.
It made me wonder how many other diabetics are given the same kind of treatment. And how they dealt with those situations. Do we always strive to educate the non-betics? Do we protect our privacy? Or is it a case by case basis? No matter the answer, one thing is certain to me: The average person doesn’t know about pumps. Or pods. Or probably what diabetes is when it comes down to it! Should I have probably invited the girl to stay as I changed my Ollie so she could potentially educate others? Yes. But do I think it’s okay to ever assume you’re invited as a part of something as serious as changing the item that saves my life? Pshh- no.