• Laura "Bean"

Alcohol and As – eh, Idiots

Summer has finally decided to show up here in NY and I, for one, could not be happier about it. I’m ready for sun dresses, flip flops, day vacas, ice pops and all the gatherings I can possibly cram in before the blistering cold shows back up.

One thing I get told a looooooot at these gatherings is, “aren’t you diabetic? You shouldn’t be drinking.” Well, shoot Susan. You just saved my life. Where have you been all this time?

(Insert massive eye roll here)

Yes, drinking (like annyyyttthiiiinnngggg else in a diabetic’s life) leads to a few more challenges but if you’re smart about it – I don’t see the problem. At all.

What I DO have a problem with is people (non-betics especially) telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing because of my diabetes. Honestly, this makes me stupidly angry. I wish it didn’t get to me so badly but here we are 20 years in and it still does. ((Picture me shrugging with a drink in hand here))

Lately, my drink of choice has been a vodka-seltzer. No extra sugar I need to worry about, no extra carbs I need to count for- simple and honestly? Pretty idiot proof. The other night I was at a work event that I helped coordinate and as it was winding down, I thought, “self, lets grab a drink”. I went to the bar and ordered a rum and diet. Wouldn’t you know it but the bartender gave me a regular coke. No rum. Not Diet. DOH. Since I was watching, I politely said, “oh. No thank you, I’d like a rum and diet” (and made severely awkward eye contact) she kind of laughed and said “oh I’m sorry you dont even look old enough to drink” welllll 1. Thank you. Let me hide my c-section scars and dab extra wrinkle cream on tonight 2. SHE STILL DIDNT ID ME and 3. What does that have to do with the fact I asked for diet?!

Now before I get all the hateful comments from you trolls who have nothing better to do than email me nasty things – 1. I was a bartender. I know what the soda gun looks like. 2. I have eyesight (thank you bejesus) I can see what button the bartender is holding down into my glass) 3. How does “rum and diet” sound like….”coke”?))

Anyway, I ended up getting an extremely weak rum and diet, tipped her anyway, and moved on with my life. But with all the talks or BBQs and picnics and gatherings flooding into my inbox, I want to go over some etiquette that I think my mom would actually be proud of. And it’s simple:

**UNLESS SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO DRINK AND DRIVE (in which case I support you tackling said person to the ground, grabbing keys and swallowing them) – MIND YOUR P’S AND Q’S** Thank you for this public service announcement, and cheers!

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