I try to look at it differently now since it really is a victory of sorts! Another year of not letting the diabetes defeat me. Another year of sticking to my guns and not giving up.
Don’t get me wrong- today was still a really rough day for me. I still thought about what life would be like if I never had the disease. What decisions would I have made differently? Would I still love chocolate? (Man, I looooved chocolate before I was diagnosed) Would my childhood memories of sleepovers and parties be different? Would I be one of the ignorant people who now make me so angry?
The answer is definitely “yes” to all those questions…except hopefully not that last one. I know there are choices I would’ve made differently, and I know I’d still love chocolate and sadly, I know my memories would be different. But what if all those changes would mean I was someone who had all these incorrect misconceptions of diabetes? What if I didn’t realize what so many children go through? I’d be ignorantly happy I suppose…
But would that last forever? Geez, I guess it would.
Today at work was crazy slow. Craaaaaaaaazy slow. I had hoped it’d be nice and busy to keep my mind off everything- no such luck here. (You’re remembering me and my luck right?) So in my typical fashion, my brain was in overdrive and I hashed out 928345 different scenarios of what could be. Let me tell ya- it didn’t help one bit. Thinking about it that way made it soo much worse on myself! Which is why I had to turn it around- start thinking of it as I said earlier – a victory. It hasn’t been an easy road so far, and I know I have bumps and ditches and all kinds of not stuff that I’ll have to get through in the future. But! I refuse to let the diabetes keep me down for long. After all, true victory is always possible for the person who doesn’t stop fighting.
Enjoy that irony… hehe